5 Reasons Mothers Make the Best Detectives

Essay by author, Ayelet Gundar-Goshen

When I grew up, ninety-nine percent of the detectives I read were men. But as I finished a novel and returned to my everyday life, it was evident that the ultimate detective was standing in the kitchen, cooking dinner. My mother was the best detective I ever knew. She could make Sherlock Holmes get down on his knees and wipe the floor if she only had the time. Of course, she never had the time, since she was a woman, trying to balance a career and a family.

Intuition

Detective fiction is full of somewhat mystical moments, in which the detective senses that there's something wrong. He smells something, or even better — he "feels it in his body" when something "is just not right." Well, mothers do it all the time, just without applause. They know when you're down even when you try to hide it, and they'll shove it in your face even when you wish they'll just let you be. Detectives use their intuition to solve murder mysteries. Mothers use their intuition to solve the biggest mystery in our lives — our own children.

Razor-sharp memory

Detectives are known to pay attention to the smallest details. Well, so do moms. My best friend is a mother of three young boys. She knows their daily routine by heart. In fact, she is their daily routine: which class is when and where, tomorrow's homework, next week's assignment, which one of the boys hates peanut butter in his sandwich, which one refuses to go to school without peanut butter in his sandwich, who loves to listen to which music, who hit whom, and what exactly was the punishment. In detective fiction, the small details summon up into the wider picture. In motherhood, the small details combine the daily labor of love.

Ruthlessness

The detective's quest for knowledge is often brutal. No matter how many obstacles he encounters on his way, a true detective never gives up. Well, an old joke says that the only difference between a Jewish mother and an AmStaff is that the dog will eventually let go of the kid. Whoever listened to a typical dinner-time conversation about college knows mothers can be just as ruthless as a hard-boiled detective after two bottles of whisky.

Self-destruction

This is a classic ingredient in most detective stories. Most detectives are so focused on their job, that they're willing to risk everything else, including their own lives. Sadly enough, this description fits many mothers I know. This is how one of my patients described the emptiness she felt after her youngest child moved out of the house: "I've been chasing the kids around for so many years, and finally, when it's over, I don't know who I am anymore." If we switch "kids" with "criminals," the meaning remains the same.

Blind Spots

Irony is a key element in detective fiction. The investigator is known for his sharp eye and penetrating look, yet there's something he's bound to miss. Not because he's a bad detective, but because he is human, because we want to know the truth just as much as we want to avoid it. Mothers look at their children all the time. They want to know everything. But do they really want to know? Could it be that we prefer to remain blind to certain elements in our child's character, to keep loving them blindly, the way we believe a mother should?

As a mother, it's sometimes shocking to realize that you can spend so much time with your kids and still know nothing about what's going on inside their mind. It makes you feel like a stranger in your own home.

Three years ago, I told my mother what my next novel is going to be about. I hate talking about novels before they're done, but this time I had no other choice – my mother was dying of cancer, and we both knew she wouldn't be around for publication. The Wolf Hunt tells the story of a mother who starts to suspect that her child was involved in the death of his classmate. She becomes a sort of detective, and the mystery she is trying to solve is her own child. When I told that to my mom, she smiled and said that perhaps every mother has a police detective in her. Every mother looks at her teenager as if they are a riddle that she is trying to solve.

I write this piece in her memory.